There Truly Is No God: Listen To Rebecca Black’s New Song “Saturday”


Ahhh, Rebecca. Rebecca Black. How we’ve missed you. You’re a genius, a true internet hero who has managed to make an actual career off the back of one of the worst, most cringeworthy songs in recent history, “Friday.” Rebecca, one can only imagine, sat down to tackle the tricky problem of what her next musical venture could possibly be.

Rebecca: “Right, so Friday is a viral success, what’s the next step. What could we possibly do now?”

Advisors: “Umm… errrr…”

Silence. Tumbleweed blows past the window of the large California mansion. A lone dog barks in the distance.  

Two years pass

Advisor 1: “I’ve got it, I’ve got it! I know what comes after Friday, it’s Saturday! You can make a song called Saturday!”

Handshakes and backpats all round. A man in a suit brings 25 bottles of champagne to the table and someone racks up some lines of coke.

The video is an odd mix of childlike fun (running on the beach with sparklers) and something more sinister. It looks as if they’re having a party—and look at those red cups—I have a hunch that alcohol just might be involved.

Also, why does one of the only black guys in the video get arrested at the end? The best guess is that Rebecca Black is coming through with some hard hitting social commentary on the profiling of young black males by the police. Right?

Cleanse your ears and soul.

  •!/PancakeMcKennz pancakemckennz

    She was mocking a lot of elements of her Friday video in this one. I’m assuming the black dude getting arrested was alluding to the dude who was rapping in the Friday video, and how he was basically the only adult in a video full of teenage girls… if you catch my drift.

  • Constant Gardner

    damn is she really that self aware?!

  •!/PancakeMcKennz pancakemckennz

    She’s totally that self-aware. She has been making fun of that Friday video for a while now. And she gets the biggest stank-face whenever anybody asks her “what day is today?” It’s hilarious.

  • Maxsur

    If she doesn’t make a song for every day of the week then I don’t even wanna listen to music anymore.

  • Thank you for ending this article with Miles Davis.

  • Essie

    This isn’t fair

  • Buttercup

    that Miles Davis hit the spot. all is well with the world again.

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