Here’s the fourth installment of the Open Mic series, a series that allows readers to submit articles (read more here) to be posted, unedited, on Pigeons and Planes. You can read all of them by clicking the “open mic” category (under the post title), or by clicking here. I’ll try to put one up every week or so from now on. The latest is from Ally, a sorority girl from the Midwest.
Read on for the article…
Sorority Girl Swag
When you live in a house of 75 sorority girls, it’s easy to lose your swag. Last time I checked, Vera Bradley bags are not “dope” and Ralph Lauren polos are not “dank.” While I love my sorority and all that it entails, I refuse to fall into the stereotypical preppy sorority girl grind. My taste and preference in music obviously has a lot to do with this. The following are my secret weapons… the methods I use to cope with living in sorority house. It’s the way in which I ensure my swag will never be lost. If you too are concerned with the well-being of your swag, are wearing Greek letters, or perhaps you’re shot-gunning a beer right this very second… pay close attention and follow by my example.
Sometimes you just gotta wear kicks
Stilletos. Pumps. Peep-toes. Slingbacks…all acceptable “going out” footwear if you’re a sorority girl on your typical college campus. But high heels present a few problems, as you can imagine. The worst is that it’s nearly impossible to dance when you have 4-inch needles sticking out of your feet. Sometimes this is OK, but every now and then (this is where I turn my swag on), you just gotta wear kicks. It’s true, I have a closet full of high heels as big as the next sorority girl’s, but I don’t like any of them as much as I love my one pair of hot pink, black and yellow Nike high tops. When I wear these, it’s straight to the dance floor and straight swaggin’ all night. Plus, the number of people you teach to Dougie is just ridiculous.
Create your own club
Living in a sorority house, it’s literally impossible to throw a party. Thus, it’s nearly impossible to blast the great music that you wanna party to. I’ve managed to overcome this obstacle, however, by dubbing (haha…) the bathroom on my floor, The Dubstep Dungeon. Yes. It’s as great as it sounds. Around 8 P.M. on any given weekend night, you can find me and all my friends getting ready together in the Dungeon with the filthiest, grimiest dubstep tracks you can find, echoing off the tile walls. Yes, it took everyone a little time to get used to me blaring such invasive music while we shower, but now they thank me. Rusko, Skrillex, Bassnectar and Zed’s Dead have become common Sorority-household names thanks to moi. Swag on sistas.
Look hot in headphones
For a sorority girl, a walk through campus can be like a walk down the runway… maybe an overstatement, but still, it’s your chance to see and be seen so your opportunities for swag are endless. For me, it’s important to wear headphones. At all times. Visibly noticeable headphones at that. The bigger the better. Also, when people stop to talk to me (I’m walking alone of course…too much swag for anyone else to handle) I only take one headphone out, that way it’s like…oh, hey I guess I’ll talk to you, but this music I’m listening to is really fucking important too…And bonus! The person that’s talking to me can hear what I’m listening to….Oh you like J. Cole? Uhh, yeah. Duh. Oh shit, you’re on that new Wiz Khalifa? Hellooo, like a month ago.
So that right there was my sorority girl swag. Hope ya’ll enjoyed it, hope I didn’t offend too many sorority girls, and I hope your swag went up a couple notches after reading this.