What the fuck, Sufjan Stevens? We get that you are an eccentric dude—that’s one of the reasons we used to like your music so much. It was different. Illinoise is an indie masterpiece, but ever since then, you’ve moved further and further towards something that we just don’t want. Your electronic experimentation was alright. We all go through phases, and despite it not being a shoe that seemed to fit, your songwriting skills made it work, at least part of the time.

We also get that you like Christmas music. Fine. We’ve been shrugging it off, but we’re reaching a breaking point as you gear up to release 10 volumes of religiously heavy Christmas songs. Ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling? He’s the baby Jesus, he’s the king-a-ling-a-ling? Really? What are you doing? Why are you doing it? Does anyone want to hear this?

Sufjan’s Silver & Gold, Songs for Christmas Vol. 7: I Am Santa’s Helper is out November 14th.