A funny thing happened today. I don’t know if you’re aware (if you are, you should spend less time on the internetz) but there have been these mysterious videos going around. They feature some electronic-like music, weird nature images, and some slimy, disguised female. They have been called “IamwhoamI”. Example above. Immediately speculators rambled off suspects ranging from MGMT to Trent Reznor. Every indie-electro act in between was mentioned at some point by an excitable blogger somewhere in middle America simultaneously posting music and masterbating to the sounds of the new (possibly fake) Justice single.

These emails have been sent out with no information, and cryptic number sequences just begging to be deciphered. Hopefully nobody here cares about number codes, but for you supernerds, it looked something like this…

699130082.45132

Supposedly you add up all the digits before the decimal and after and find the corresponding letter in the alphabet and it comes out to be 38.17 or CH.AG. (Thanks to PS for this)

Anyways, after putting together all the pieces today the internet had a collective epiphany, and it seems pretty clear that the culprit is Christina Aguilera. The smell of disappointment, embarassment, and shame is pungent tonight among hip alt-bloggers. Christina Aguilera may not have big issues selling lots of albums, but how else could she build hype among hipster bloggers who only love AnCo and Vamp Wknd? Pretty smart marketing.

CA – 1
Hipster Bloggers – 0