Meet Lil Poopy, the Youngest Don. If you’re unaware, French Montana signed this young phenom, and his Coke Ain’t A Bad Word dropped last week. Seriously, this exists. Oddly enough, there aren’t a lot of you out there talking about the Youngest Don, and if you’re to be ruled over by this upstart, you should know a little about why he is in such a power position, right? We’ve put Coke Ain’t A Bad Word under the scope and pulled out some lines that best explain how Poopy attained such a power position before he even turns 10.
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He understands the power of the dollar
- “Straight cash, too young for credit cards” – “Shot Caller (Remix)”
- “Dead presidents with the rubber bands around them/already know how to keep my hands around them” – “Let It Go Freestyle”
- “Too much money ain’t enough money, know the Feds listening – what money?” – “Too Much Money”
- “I got 8 million ways that I can make 8 million” – “Stay Schemin (Remix)”
- “Can’t count that high, but I’m ‘bout to see a milli” – “Big Things”
While he’s only nine years old, Poop not only knows the power of the dollar, but how to deal in cash-only transactions, putting himself out of harm’s way if any federal agents happen to be sniffing around. There are guys doing serious time in the penitentiary right now who didn’t understand the value of shutting up about funds. Youngest Don 1, prisoners 0.
He’s the coolest kid in school
- “I make it look cool and I’m still a good student” – “Riot (Remix)”
- “School is the only place I go without my camera man” – “Hammer Dance (Remix)”
- “The only kid in my class with an iPad” – “I Don’t Give A What”
Poopy hasn’t even hit the 5th grade yet, and he’s obviously the illest kid in his elementary school. Rocking iPads (you know he’ll have that iPad Mini) and being swagged out must make his classmates envious, but he makes sure he balances being wavy with his academics, keeping up his grades. Youngest Don 2, Steve Urkel 0.
He’s traveling the world
- “Up in the club spelled L-I-V” – “Everything’s A Go (Remix)”
- “Tell them hurry up, because I’m about to fly to Italy/after that the next thing I’mma do, buy the Middle East” – “Hammer Dance (Remix)”
Most kids that are Poopy’s age are happy to be going to the park or McDonald’s. Maybe they get to fuck with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland during summer vacation. Lil Poopy is a Bostonian, but he’s fly enough to hit up Club LIV in Miami. He’s got enough cheddar to fly to Italy then BUY THE MIDDLE EAST. Youngest Don 3, kids without passports 0.
He’s a baller
- “Shot caller, 8-ball corner pocket/how many kids is only 8 balling like this?” – “Let It Go Freestyle”
Getting into adult clubs while still in grade school. Buying entire parts of the world. Having a passport before the age of 10. It doesn’t get much more baller than Lil Poopy. Poopy’s probably got crazy passport stamps, and he can’t even buy liquor yet. Youngest Don 4, Jim Jones 0.
He’s a young Casanova
- “All them little girls call me Poopy the principal” – “Everything’s A Go (Remix)”
Let us tell you how wavy Poopy is: he’s got his classmates looking at him like the ultimate authority figure. We can’t imagine how many young skimmies are trying to stay after school for some of that detention! And we can only imagine how their mothers view Poopy – they probably want to have a closed-door discussion about their child’s behavior with Poop every day. Youngest Don 5, Principal Rooney 0.
Lil Poopy is your idol
- “You think you Big Meech? Well that’s my mini-me/if Big Meech rapped, he would say he think he’s me” – “Bout That Life”
- “I don’t sound like Wayne, cuz I’m way cooler/I don’t sound like Drake, cuz I’m way cooler/and he know that, I’ll say it straight to him” – “Motto (Remix)”
Lil Poopy’s not fucking around. His boy French is cool with Rick Ross, but Poop basically just told Rawse that he should realize that he’s the inspiration for his idol. And while so many rappers get stuck imitating guys like Wayne or Drake, Poopy puts it out there: no, I don’t sound like them because I’m so damn cool. And I’ll let them know! Youngest Don 6, Birdman 0.
He’s wise beyond his years
- “Everybody ask how much I signed for/I got my mind on my business, you should mind yours” – “Bout That Life”
Not only is this hands down one of the best lines from the tape, this also shows how mature Poppy can be about that paper. We already know he won’t talk about his money because the Feds are watching, but he makes sure you keep your eyes off his answer sheet, so to speak. Every don was, a one point, a smart little kid, and Poop knows how to operate like an older G. Youngest Don 7, the media 0.
He’s a leader
- “New school needed a new leader, and Poopy be that new teacher” – “Cashin Out (Remix)”
One of the constant quips in music circles is how the current state of music is in flux. Almost like we’re waiting for someone to be the savior or the torchbearer, leading the next phase of good music into the future. It’s not Kanye West, nor is it Kendrick Lamar. It’s undoubtedly Lil Poopy. You need those child prodigies to already have the knowledge while they’re still getting their feet wet. No one better than Poop to excel at both sides of the game than rule this industry with an iron fist. Youngest Don 8, the RIAA 0.
He’s already mastered the art of language
- “You see me, you see swag” – “Wat I Do”
- “Coke ain’t a bad word, Coca-Cola/Coke ain’t a bad word, it’s just soda” – “Pop That (Remix)”
Poopy knows that in order to truly rule, you have to command language. It goes farther than just using slang to your advantage. Poopy essentially is saying that he is the definition of swag, to the point where we should probably stop saying “swag” and start saying “poop.” The entire “coke ain’t a bad word” movement works two-fold: seeing as he’s not even 10 yet, “coke” should only be used to describe a type of soda, for him. With a mixtape bearing that title, that doesn’t contain curses or any direct references to illicit activity, the littlest coke boy has a great case. Or he could be running this magnificent cocaine distribution ring, with that pure Colombian rolling in through Miami and being shipped out to Italy on trips. He could be the perfect drug mule, or just that focused on his paper that he needs to have his hands on every part of the operation. Youngest Don 9, Pepsi 0.
He’s just getting started
- “I ain’t even going all the way in/watch when my teeth go all the way in” – “Shot Caller (Remix)”
The fact that Poopy is only 8 during the making of Coke Ain’t A Bad Word is crazy in and of itself. The tape’s 23 tracks long, and save for an intro, outro, and a few skits, he’s got
verses bars on deck, with Big Mike mentioning that Volume 2 is in the can! For anyone to achieve “don” status, especially someone who’s attained it before hitting puberty, you have to wonder what’ll go down once he can really start moving. Imagine the steak dinners he will enjoy once he has all of those adult teeth!
- “And we young, ain’t no telling what we do next” – “I Don’t Give A What”
This barb might be a promise and a threat to any competition in his way. Poopy isn’t going anywhere, and the don is unpredictable. He might open up a flower shop in your part of town. He might sell the Middle East to Big Bird. Who knows? Just remember the name: Lil Poopy. The Youngest Don. He won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. He’s just getting started. Youngest Don 10, everyone 0.