Ah, the holidays. A time for family, friends, food, celebrations, and, of course, stress. This time of year comes as a double-edged sword in that it’s both joyous but incredibly taxing. So in an effort to help cross one thing off your to-do list, we’ve lent a hand with the guest list and rounded up 12 musicians you should invite for Thanksgiving dinner. Granted, none of them are your average Martha Stewarts, but it’s safe to say that what they lack in domestic skills, they definitely make up for in entertainment. Regardless of how the turkey tastes, it’s sure to be one interesting night.
Hit “next” or click the pictures to read on…
What he’d bring: Two turntables and a holiday you’ve never heard of
Thanksgiving is American holiday royalty, bringing the annual promise of over-eating, football, lax obligations, and a non-lethal, non-heroin induced near-coma. But even then, sometimes even the classics need a bit of spicing up. Enter Diplo. With his flair for infectious grooves and global obscura, Diplo not only packs the party on his Serrato, he also packs parties you’ve never even heard of. While you’re thinking about Turkey Day, Diplo’s preparing a party inspired by Spain’s La Tomatina or, a special mix for Monaco’s Feast Day of S.A.S. Prince Rainier, and probably inventing another holiday in a club in Brazil after Thanksgiving dinner (that you’re not invited to).
What she’d bring: Tin foil
When Bjork shows up to your door with tin foil, your immediate thought may be “oh, right, of course she showed up with tin foil” because Bjork is an oddball and who knows what she brought that for. Later in the night, you walk into the kitchen and you see tin foil swans everywhere. Suddenly, you put two and two together: Bjork was combining her now infamous love for all things swan-related and her obsession with cleaning into one great way to store Thanksgiving leftovers. Quirky and resourceful – our kind of girl.
What he’d bring: Pretty Boy stuffing
Anyone who spends enough time around Lil B is bound to be fairly good at cooking, so we imagine Soulja Boy is a fairly good chef (though it’s unclear if he’s a master chef yet). On a day known for eating, having someone with kitchen talents like Soulja is not only desired, but also needed. One of his most prized dishes is his Pretty Boy stuffing. This dish not only features the traditional stuffing makings, but also comes complete with a diamond necklace and a private jet. Seriously, the kid is gifted.
Lana Del Rey
What she’d bring: Her questionable new boyfriend
Everyone has that one relative who insists on bringing their significant other to every holiday, regardless of how weird their boyfriend/girlfriend is. So while inviting Lana Del Rey would add a cool, sexy sophistication to the party, be prepared for her to bring whichever new dude is in her life along with her. Judging by the men in her music videos, that could be just about anyone. So be prepared for some interesting conversations at the dinner table.
What he’d bring: Coca-Cola
Getting stuck at the kids’ table sucks, right? Especially when you’re 12 and you’ve already created your own Hotmail account, and probably also had your first slow dance during activity night last weekend. You’re ready for the respect, the grandeur, and the chance to “accidentally” sneak a sip of wine and/or beer that comes with sitting at the adult’s table. Enter Lil Poopy. When a DON like Poopy is around, he gives the kids’ table the street cred it has lacked for so long. Plus, while Mom may have cut you off after your third glass of Coca-Cola, Poopy has your back and comes prepared. After all, Coke ain’t a bad word – it’s only soda!
What she’d bring: David Byrne
It’s no secret that since recording their fantastic Love This Giant, St. Vincent and David Byrne have been almost inseparable. With this in mind, bringing David along as her +1 wouldn’t be a far stretch. Sure, it’s not a traditional Thanksgiving dish, but if St. Vincent showed up to your door with David Byrne, would you turn her away? Fingers crossed he comes wearing his Britney Spears head-mic.
What he’d bring: Ice cream
Aside from his love for outrageously huge bling, one of the most noticeable things about Gucci Mane is his ice cream tattoo… on his face. And it goes without saying that if you get something inked on your face, you’re pretty serious about your devotion to it. So while Soulja’s stressin’ about his stuffing and Diplo’s perfecting his mixes, Gucci would already have dessert on lock-down, and roll with cones on cones on cones of ice cream.
What she’d bring: Drugs
If you haven’t needed an extra glass of wine or a few Xanax to get through the holidays then you’re either a saint or a manager at Target. Luckily Grimes is neither, so she’s cool for our Thanksgiving dinner. The singer has openly admitted to using drugs to help her write songs and therefore it’s a safe guess that she’d come prepared for something equally as stressful: family dinners Though if for some forsaken reason this isn’t the case, at least we can still count on Lil Poopy to hit us with continuous glasses of highly caffeinated beverages to take the edge off.
What he’d bring: Grills, Jody Highroller
Look at the picture above. Now watch the video below.
Now give us one good reason to not invite Riff Raff (and Jody Highroller) to our next Thanksgiving.
What he’d bring: He doesn’t have to bring anything, he’s a fucking HOLOGRAM. A 2PAC HOLOGRAM!
Look, if you managed to even get the hologram of 2Pac, then consider that a fan-fucking-tastic Thanksgiving.
What she’d bring: Live performance of “It’s Thanksgiving”
Before she fulfills her destiny as the star we’d only dreamed Rebecca Black could be, we’d want Nicole Westbrook to perform her most-likely-Grammy-winning/all-time best-selling single “It’s Thanksgiving” at Thanksgiving, especially after already delivering such an emotional performance of the song on Access Hollywood. Nicole can even stay for Gucci’s ice cream sundaes if she brings her homeboy in the turkey costume.
What he’d bring: Salad
What? Ross is tryin to slim down and we respect it.
GOT A DIFFERENT GUEST LIST FOR THANKSGIVING? TELL US WHO YOU’D BRING IN THE COMMENTS