Justin Bieber is the teenage king of pop, and you know what happens when you combine extreme power with extreme adolescence—hilarity! No, but really, it is kind of sad that the world is fixated with making fun of Justin Bieber, and yet, he just makes it so easy sometimes. TMZ will stop at nothing to get dirt on celebrity’s finickiness, and have obtained a rider that details Bieber’s requirements at a photo shoot, which are listed as follows in order of humor:

1. No Selena Gomez music to ever be played on set.
Looks like Bieber isn’t over his recent ex, hearing “Love You Like a Love Song” come on the radio by chance is too great a risk to take—he also requires a boombox with an iPhone 5 plugin to bypass horrors such as this.

2. No cell phones on set, no autographs and absolutely no talking to him on set.
The first two seem understandable, but if the photographers themselves can’t even communicate with Bieber, it’s going to make for one hell of a weird photo shoot.

3. Water requirements: 12 pack of bottled water
The thirst is real.

4. Tea requirements: assortment of herbal teas: Green, Throat Coat, Chamomile.
So thirsty! Gotta soothe those million dollar pipes with herbal concoctions.

5. Food requirements: 1 deli platter, 1 veggie platter, 1 large pack of Swedish Fish, 2 boxes of Apple Nutrigrain bars, 1 box of Ritz Bits peanut butter sandwiches, 1 box of Ritz Bits cheese sandwiches, 2 large packs of Haribo Gola Gummiees (assuming this is cola?)
These don’t seem too far off the mark of a normal nineteen-year-old—this is practically the same as the list of snacks I text my mom to stock the pantry with when I return to my own childhood home for Christmas or other family vacations.

6. Clothing requirements: 1 pack of mens lo-rise socks (XS), 2 packs of mens white lo-rise socks (L), 1 pack mens white crew neck tees (XS), 1 pack mens white crew neck tees (L), 1 pack mens white a-shirt tanks (L).
That seems like a lot of wardrobe changes? What is up with the constant switch between large and extra small? So many questions.

View the original copy of the list here via TMZ, some of the typos are pretty funny too. Also check out our updates on Bieber and his monkey, Mally  from earlier this year or read Twitter’s reaction to the news that the pop star is headed to space.