Ahh, DMX. You never know when he’ll pop up in the day’s news. Maybe he’ll be riding a slingshot at an amusement park, growling and yelling in fear.

Ooh, ooh, hurry up before I change my mind. – DMX

Or maybe he’ll be:

Using Google for the first time.
Planning to fight George Zimmerman.
Going on Dr. Phil.
Singing “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Getting deep onĀ Iyanla: Fix My Life.
Riding a horse like a goddamn king.

In other DMX video news…