To bling or not to bling, that is the question.
Just when you think Drake’s “Hotline Bling” has been covered, remixed, and meme’d to death, a hero comes along to give the song one last stand. David F Brand translated the song into Shakespearean-style meter, and the results are amazing. Some of the stand out lines:
These days, all I do is
Wonder if you’re bendin’ over backwards for someone else
Wonder if you’re rolling up a Backwoods for someone else
Doing things I taught you, gettin’ nasty for someone else
That mocking green-eye monster feeds on my visions of the bare nymph making the beast with two backs before packing compounds strange. Passing along tricks thou learnt at my lap.
Cause ever since I left the city, you
Started wearing less and goin’ out more
Glasses of champagne out on the dance floor
Hangin’ with some girls I’ve never seen before
While I, traveller from my native north, Hear of your revelry. So thou hast doffed thy habit, with potations thou carous’d. Surrounded by your weird sisters, arous’d.
You can see the full transcript below, and visit David’s website where he also has translations for Ice Cube’s “It Was a Good Day,” Notorious B.I.G.’s “Juicy,” and Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story.”