Through his deeply personal lyrics (and social media posts), Kid Cudi has been very honest about his battles with drugs and depression over the years. Just a few months ago, he admitted that he thinks “about blowin [his] brains out a handful a times a week.” Now, in a wide-ranging conversation with Pharrell and Scott Vener on their Beats 1 Radio show OTHERtone (which will air in full this Sunday at 3 p.m. EST), he dives further into those issues.

Discussing the overwhelming pressures of fame, he said, “I’ll tell you the truth, it’s what drove me to drugs.”

“I was like, man, I’m either going to kill myself or I’m going to do some drugs. And I want to live, so…” he continued. “I didn’t like that I had money and success and I had made it and everybody that I had ever met in my life—good people—weren’t able to experience the same. And I wasn’t able to truly enjoy my success. Even though I worked hard for it, it bothered me that I had so much and my friends didn’t. It was hard for me to enjoy it. It didn’t seem fair.”

Throughout the three preview clips released so far, he also discusses meeting Kanye West, working with Jay Z, being so broke he borrowed clothes from BAPE co-workers as he started his career, and more.