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    Pharoahe Monche - "Simon Says"

    Best used: Before a really early morning shift.

    This is probably the most aggressive wake up call on the list. If you're tired enough to sleep through the horror-movie evoking intro of this hip-hop classic, followed by Pharoahe Monch literally shouting at you to "get the fuck up," then there's slim chance you'll wake up at all, and it’s probably for the best that you stay in bed.