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    From: North Subject: It's your daughter. Answer your damn emails.

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    Sorry, this computer keyboard is SO fun I could play with it for hours! Shoot, I'm drooling all over myself.


    Ugh, this is not why I borrowed Mom's computer. When I was 9 months old, I asked about getting a cell phone and you said, "Maybe next year." I'm 1 year and 9 months now. I've been on this planet for almost 670 days and I'm basically an adult and I don't know even what it feels like to send a text message. Can I please get a phone? I'll pay the bill out of my allowance.

    P.S. Stop with the bibs. Please, it's embarrassing. I'll be more carefuller about eating.